Ales and Tales: Jurassic Park

Wine gets to have all the fun. You can pair it with food, go to some fancy vineyard, spit it into a bucket, and look cultured while you get buzzed. Although, craft breweries has done some work to get beer into snobby people's hands. Some hipster eateries even have pairing suggestions like its older, loved more by mom and dad, sister, wine. But I want the next step! Beer needs its own thing. So I'll do what no one asked for, pair craft beer with craft stories. Books, movies, television, I might throw a video game in there once in a while, all will be paired with the perfect style of beer for your enjoyment.

Story: Jurassic Park

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And, of course I'm starting with Jurassic Park. It's both and amazing book and an even better movie. And if you don't need a beer while viewing romance cover Jeff Goldblum, then you will never need a beer.

Michael Crichton must have had a bad Disneyland experience because Jurassic Park wasn't his first dive into a theme park gone wrong. The book goes into far more details about the cloning process and the science of bringing dinosaurs back to our modern world. This is done without the aid of a cartoon DNA strand, so beer is that much more necessary to help with the explanation. There's a reason the movie seems so grounded in fact, Michael Crichton put in the work! Here I am, researching the types of trees in France for a book, and this dude developed a believable cloning system based on quasi-factual science.

Now, the book (as with every movie/book duo) has more story to tell. Surprisingly, it gets even more violent and crazy than the movie. If this were adapted today, Michael Bay would pick it up, lick his lips, then film a raptor being blown up with an RPG on the first day of shooting. And it would be an accurate depiction of a scene from the book! Robert Muldoon (the hunter with the upsettingly short shorts) doesn't allow any clever girls to get the best of him in the print version of the story. He may have thought this line, however, as chunks of velociraptor rained down around him.

The movie, as previously mentioned, has Jeff Goldblum. Do I need to say more? It's a quotable classic that sees Wayne Knight in the same movie as Samuel Jackson. Hell yes. The kitchen scene is still tense after over 100 viewings (possibly not an over-exaggeration).

Pair With: American Amber

So, you need a smooth beer, that won't take you too off the deep end, while allowing your body to relax for the dino-venture before you. An American Amber would be the absolute perfect fit. This has nothing to do with the fact that they get the dino-DNA from slabs of amber. Nothing at all. Nope. The flavor will be balanced, and won't distract from the viewing or reading experience. Some ambers can get more on the red side, don't get too far into Red Ale territory, although similar, I'm sure I can use them for a bloody movie or book pun later.

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Suggested Beer: Modern Times, Blazing World.

This amber gives you as many hops as the raptors and adds a more exciting amber ale experience. I'll never want to suggest anything boring.

And always remember not to jump into your gas-powered Jeep immediately after your ale-tale experience or otherwise, BINGO! Dino-DUI.